


when the heart yearns

by makichansenpai



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bokuaka - Freeform, Fukurodani - Freeform, Graduation, I will probably continue this, LMAO, M/M, angsty, bokuto's graduation, my children, this was for bokuaka week but i couldn't make it in time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 00:19:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10605366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makichansenpai/pseuds/makichansenpai
Summary: Bokuto graduates and Akaashi slips away





	

**Author's Note:**

> y'all! I'm still alive! God bless!

Bokuto's graduation was coming up, and he ended up being sentimental during a late night practice.  As usual, he and Akaashi were practicing some spikes.  The school competitions were over, but that didn't mean they should stop practicing.  After all, Bokuto did receive a contract to be a player for one of Japan's top teams.  So after their regular practice sessions, Akaashi would stay back with Bokuto, and make sure that Bokuto is in good shape for the team.  It was when they started cleaning up that Bokuto sighed, "I can't believe I'm graduating." Akaashi tensed at the statement.  Bokuto continued, "You know Akaashi, I'm going to miss this place. I'm going to miss our teammates, our managers, the coaches, all the hangouts we had, the celebrations…. Everything.  But I think I'll miss you the most."

 

Akaashi's stomach twisted.  There was so much he wanted to tell Bokuto, but he knew that it will just get in the way of his professional career so he settled for, "I'll miss you too Bokuto-san" in a deadpan manner.

 

Bokuto whined, "Akaashi!! At least sound like you mean it."

 

Akaashi sighed, "Bokuto-san, I do mean it.  You're our number 1 ace, and-" Akaashi trailed off. _The light of my life._ He continued in his thoughts.

 

"And what Akaashi?" Bokuto asked as he tilted his head, his eyes filled with curiosity.

 

"It's nothing Bokuto-san.  Let's clear up and grab something to eat." Akaashi said as he put some volleyballs back in the ball cart.

 

Bokuto thought to himself and decided that he wouldn't nag Akaashi about the issue.  They cleared up in silence, and after they locked up the gym, they headed to Bokuto's favorite restaurant.  The restaurant they went to is "Tokyo's best yakiniku restaurant", according to Bokuto. The two had an eventful dinner with Bokuto reminding Akaashi how to properly grill the meat for the best taste.  This side of Bokuto was seen only by Akaashi.  At team gatherings, Bokuto would always stuff his face with meat and rice, leaving only vegetables behind for the victims.

 

For some reason, Bokuto actually cares about how the meat is cooked, and takes proper care and consideration.  He wraps the grilled meat in a lettuce leaf with some seasoning, and shoves it in Akaashi face. Even though Akaashi can grill his own food and feed himself, there are times where he lets Bokuto do whatever he wants. Sometimes Bokuto would make a wrap for him, and other times he would even feed Akaashi.  Their bill is always split because they both eat a lot, but tonight, it was Akaashi's treat. 

 

After dinner, the two walked home and said "goodbye" at the intersection where they separate.  That night, Bokuto went home like the next following months would be like the usual.  Little did Bokuto know, Akaashi went home and cried himself to sleep for he knew that the upcoming months would be absolute hell for him.

 

The first three weeks went by with little differences.  There were times when Akaashi couldn't stay back after practice due to studies for exams.  The remaining weeks until graduation day, Akaashi practically disappeared from Bokuto's life.  He would always have a reason why he couldn't eat lunch with Bokuto or stay back after practice.  Bokuto never noticed because he believed that Akaashi will always be by his side.

 

Graduation day finally came, and before Bokuto knew it, he had a diploma in his hands.  Bokuto was the happiest he could be… or at least, that's what he thought.  He knew that something… or someone was missing.  Bokuto looked at his diploma and knew exactly what he had to do.  After saying a few congratulatory words and taking a few pictures, Bokuto dashed into a building.  He ran and checked every building on campus, every hallway, and open door.  He kept running until he was out of breath and the school was empty.  He leaned against a door and slid down.

 

"Why am I trying so hard to find Akaashi?" Bokuto asked himself. "It's because he's my favorite kouhai!" he exclaimed. But deep down Bokuto knew that wasn’t the reason.  Bokuto looked at his shaking hands, and remembered that Akaashi was always there when he was in trouble.  He chuckled at himself, "You were always there, huh, Akaashi? When I couldn't remember how to spike a cross, you cleared a way for me until I remembered.  When no one else wanted to practice with me after practice, you stayed back and tossed for me.  When I got dumped by my first girlfriend, you comforted me.  You helped me understand the subjects I was failing in, and gave me confidence in every match we had.  We celebrated victories and reflected on defeats.  So why aren't you here with my biggest accomplishment? Why aren't you hear telling me 'good job' or 'I'm proud of you'. Why do I feel so empty without you?!" Bokuto yelled out. 

 

He rested his head in his hands as he tried to think of the reason why he felt so lonely.  Memories of them hanging out flashed before his eyes.  Bokuto remembers the times when it was just the two of them. He remembers the warmth and security he felt whenever he was Akaashi.  Especially during the times when it was just them.  Realization settled on Bokuto as he raised his head with the sunset reflecting in his eyes.

 

"I love you, Akaashi Keiji." Bokuto whispered.  "I love you so much, and I didn't even know it until now.  I'm such a fucking idiot." he said to himself as tears streamed down his face.

 

Little did Bokuto know, Akaashi was on the other side of the door, and he heard everything. Through it all, Akaashi wanted to burst out of the closet and embrace Bokuto.  But he didn't. And he had a good reason for it too.   
Akaashi knew that he and Bokuto started dating, and certain people knew about it, Bokuto's career as a professional volleyball player would spiral out of control.  Japan hasn't legalized same sex relationships, and people who are in it, are persecuted by the Japanese society.  So he kept it in.  He held in cries the best he could so that Bokuto could forget this day and pursue his future with nothing holding him back. 

 

Akaashi knew that Bokuto was about to leave when he heard him get up with a grunt. _I love you, too, Bokuto-san_. Akaashi said in his heart as he heard Bokuto's footsteps fade away. Once the echoes of footsteps faded away, Akaashi cried his eyes out.  He knew that his only chance to confess, and possibly spend the rest of his life with Bokuto had slipped through his fingers. Both Akaashi and Bokuto went home with a broken heart and soulless body that night.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it!  
> I have plans to turn this into a single dad sensei au!  
> So stay tuned!


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